Heavens don’t make happy couples, healthy relationship habits do. Honeymoon phase is missed later in the relationship while for some couples it never seems to end. You see a happy couple and you know it. Their secret formulae to a healthy relationship isn’t something difficult to unearth and practice. Here are the few habits happy couples follow:
- Goodbye, Bitter Past. Hello, Healthy Relationship.
Everyone has his or her fair share of sad relationships in the past but bringing the same old mess to a new relationship favors no one. Holding on to past demands a lot of energy. Would you rather not use it in working on your new relationship? I would. To make space for fresh beautiful memories, let go of the old bitter ones. Forgiveness and acceptance brings peace and you owe that to yourself.
Dear Past, you were good and bad too but I cannot remain stuck in you. I have another person to love. Goodbye.
Two individuals who enter a relationship with an acceptance of their past and the other person’s make a happy couple and a healthy relationship.
- Want a healthy relationship? Communicate.
To bottle up and assume crazy scenarios in your head is an easy shortcut to ruin a relationship. Happy couples believe in the healthy habit of communication. Wherever two people are involved, conflicts happen. In those cases, words can be destructing weapons or healing ambrosia. The couple can either actively participate in the blame game or discuss, openly share, listen and, try to understand. How you want to approach your conflicts is up to you. If something hurts you, communicate rather than expecting your partner to understand all by themselves.
“Hey! I love it when you express your feelings for me? Can you do it more often?” works better than pointless mumbling like- Why doesn’t he hug more often? Why doesn’t he express? Maybe he doesn’t love me.
- Happy Couples are Realistic
Hollywood has greatly played with our mindsets to define a happy relationship. It has been etched our minds that there is a perfect partner out there. People walk into a relationship with a checklist and items on the list as unreasonable as ‘the partner will never look at anyone else’.
Happy couples keep a check on their unrealistic expectations. The idea of a soulmate is myth. Two people are as much soulmates as they are willing to put efforts into their relationship.
” You don’t find a relationship with 100% compatibility, you find 60-70% compatibility and you work towards it. You preserve it, nurture it. You grow in it. Your efforts towards a relationship define its compatibility.”
- Don’t try to ‘fix’ the other person
A secret that nobody tells us is this: Perfection is a myth. There are times when you see your partner as this complete mess and want to ‘fix’ them according to you. While it is natural to want to change the other person according to your interests and choices, it isn’t healthy. Remember that we are all imperfect individuals here.
Happy couples understand that neither of the individuals is perfect. In trying to tweak the little things about your partner who knows you might turn him or her into a whole different person who wouldn’t be the same person you fell in love with.
Differences will forever exist, if it is something you can live with- let go of it for the sake of a healthy relationship.
- Self love is source of all other loves
Jon Negroni writes, ” If you have a low sense of self-worth, that affects a lot of your behaviors, which in turn affect your connections with others.”
People seem to assume it is their partner’s job to make them feel special and loved. It is but not entirely. You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where you are not made feel special. But if making you feel special were entirely your partner’s job, what about the relationship you have with yourself? Everything starts with you.
If you accept yourself with all your flaws, love yourself inspite of them and because of them- you will find THE LOVE. In healthy relationship, couples walk with clear mind about who they are and what they expect of a relationship.
Like it has been said earlier: Heavens don’t make happy couples, healthy relationship habits do. If you practice these already cheers to you! If you don’t yet, What are you waiting for? Inculcating these beliefs won’t be easy, it will take a great amount of efforts and even more patience. In the end, it will be worth it. You deserve a healthy relationship, your partner deserves the same.