Saturday, July 20News That Matters

How to Maintain a Long Distance Relationship

 

Long distance relationships don’t work. Also, they do. What holds true for you depends on your efforts. The distances and time zone differences are risky and difficult for some people and the last thing they want to deal with. Some others lovingly embrace Long Distance Relationships. The last thing these people want for themselves is not loving the person they love. These happy couples practice healthy relationship habits to nurture their relationship.

No one has ever said long distance relationships are easy. There are times when you want to hug your partner and hold them close but reality aka distances hit hard; but would you believe someone who says Long distance relationships are impossible? I wouldn’t.  Here are a few things couples can do to help their long distance relationships flourish:

  1. Long Distance Relationship? Get them something to hold on to.

Knowingly or unknowingly we attach emotions to physical objects. And while you can’t be there to give them a hug daily, a physical object can convey your feelings. Send her a t-shirt which smells like you, or a handwritten letter he can read to get through the times he misses you. Make audio cassettes for each other with cute little voice notes.

  1. Plan Long Distance Date Nights

Tiresome distances no longer allow candlelight dinners to get high not just on the drink but on the person sitting across the table. Good news! Heart doesn’t work that way. You can still create cherishable memories. Internet is a savior! Make time for date nights on Skype. As an icing on the cake, how about making them themed? Say, a date of reciting poetry or a date of ‘remember whens’ or a date of expressing everything- good, bad, best or a date of watching movies in sync or a date of staring into each others’ eyes. A personal favourite is to read books to each other.
[adsense]

  1. Know each others’ schedule

You don’t want to give the other person a call while he or she is in an important business meeting or a crucial talk. Know day to day schedule of your partner so that you can drop calls at a right time when they aren’t juggling with the already tough life. Call them when they are all in to give you all of their attention and time. Keep your partner updated on your schedule. You don’t want to keep him/her staring at the blank screen waiting for your call.

  1. Give space

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.”

As a Buzzfeed user writes, Learn to live without each other and appreciate how much lovelier you feel when you are with them in your life. Learn that you don’t need each other. You want each other in spite of the differences. That’s the real glue.

Neither of the partners should rely completely on the other person for emotional health. Your emotional health needs to be taken care by yourself first. Texting too much can sabotage your relationship instead of helping it grow.

  1. Communicate

Not the usual my day your day but talk deep. It would help you a lot in knowing your partner for who he or she is really is. Do random philosophies together. Share, discuss, debate, try to understand, listen. Really listen.

Read an interesting perspective? Share with them! Get their opinions. Involve them in your important decisions. Make them feel included. Talk about the big things in life and oh, the insignificant ones too. Tell them about the daily lessons you learn, ask them about theirs. Thanks to technology, the means are abundant.

Text messages aren’t the only way to communicate. Leave voice notes, write love letters, send videos to them or silly selfies.

  1. Do things together

Take an online quiz and discuss results. Not everyone is a fan of compatibility quizzes but what’s the harm in some non-sense fun? Solve a crossword puzzle together.

To take it to a different level, you can play scrabble or a game of chess. Beat them at Sudoku, maybe? Any thoughts on book quizzes?

 

  1. Invest in yourself

You are your most priced commodity, invest in yourself. Travel alone in the city, let your partner see the city through your eyes. ‘Lovey-dovey’ conversations get boring after a time. Seek new experiences, this will give you a lot to talk about with your partner. Take an activity on the side, practise it. Perform for them.  Try to develop new hobbies, meet new people, embark on a fun and exciting journey. Someone who loves you will be happy to know you are taking out time for your happiness.

  1. Know that your relationship is worth fighting for

Most of all, doubts and frustration in long distance relationships are natural. Does she even love me anymore? Why isn’t he picking up the call, trying to avoid me? Is the new friend a threat? Give up on your doubts! Learn to listen to each other during arguments. Infact don’t argue to prove yourself right, listen with the thought in mind that you are in this together. You are a team! Have faith in your love and in your partner. When you will finally be living together with your partner in your arms, you would laugh at the irrationalities (in your face, distances!!) Love conquers all including distances.

The answer to a lasting relationship is in mutual efforts. Would you rather struggle a little now and be with them later or give up? But remember, nothing precious comes easy. The choice is yours to make.